“You can’t stop a bird from landing on your head, but you can stop it from making a nest in your hair”

A week before payday calls for imagination in the eats department. This recipe is quick, filling, and cheap AF. AND it can be stretched further by judicious use of canned corn, green beans, and onions.

A can of Spam or Treet or store brand canned meat hunks

2 cups cooked rice or 2 cups instant mashed potatoes or cooked fideo or ramen noodles. It doesn’t really matter what the starch is as long as there’s a whole mess of it.

1/2 cup barbecue sauce

1/4 cup chopped onion

1/4 cup chopped bell pepper

pinch of brown sugar

1 tbs vinegar

OK, really, the only necessary ingredients are meat, starch and sauce. Everything else is belly filler.

Dice the canned meat into small cubes. Saute in a pan over a pretty hot fire, stirring all the time. You want the sides to get crunchy but not burned. Add the onions and peppers if desired and stir like crazy. Turn down the fire when they get soft, and add the barbecue sauce. Turn off the fire and add the starch. I add the brown sugar and vinegar at the very last, right before I dip it into a bowl. Piece of bread and butter will set it right off.

I add corn and green beans when I want leftovers for lunch. They add bulk to everything without dirtying up another pan or dish.

Bonus recipe! Grate spam into a bowl, add mayo, sweet relish, tons of black pepper and a pinch of sugar. Makes a great sandwich spread.

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I like to cook. I make up all my recipes and more often than not, they are at the very least palatable. Sometimes, I miss spectacularly (gobby mac and cheese that tasted like I forgot to add-well, cheese). That said, I like simple ingredients and one pot meals, and since I am pressing 60 so hard, it’s pleated, I’ve had to cut out bad fats, most spices, salt, and mostly tomatoes. Those puppies give me vivid nightmares.

Add to this a bad back and legs that go numb after standing for five minutes, and of course, necessity is the mother of invention.

This recipe is very low sodium and about as heart-healthy as I get, given that I did use chopped sirloin.

Beef Fried Rice

1 pkg Uncle Ben’s heart healthy brown rice ready made, not heated 1 cup Great Value frozen peppers and onions 2 slabs of Great Value Philly Steak patties, frozen 2 tbls olive oil, not extra virgin, I like the “experienced oil” 1 egg or 3 tbls egg whites 1 pkg herb ox no sodium beef bullion, the one that make 8 oz of broth 3 tsp worcestershire sauce 1/2 tsp garlic powder

Heat the oil until it makes waves in the pan. Add the peppers, onions, philly steak patties and beef bullion. Make the fire hot enough to fry like hell, but not so much that it smokes. Stir and chop the meat until it is cooked, with browned edges. Add the rice and heat it up. After everything gets good and stirred up, add the garlic powder and make a hole for the egg in the middle of the pan. Once the egg starts to set, turn off the fire, start chopping the egg into the mixture. Add the worcestershire sauce and stir until everything is nicely tanned. Serve with a mess of collard greens with apple cider vinegar so you can mix it all together and let all the food likker get into everything.

Less than 200 mg sodium per serving. The delicate flavors are noticeable without the salt killing it. Oh, this makes four generous servings without someone feeling like they swallowed a beach ball.