Settling into the Routine

Three chemo cycles down, They are shitty. I have a small window of normalcy after a cycle and right before the next one. I take care of business, get snacks for Jane, wash clothes, and maybe wash a dish.

It always starts with nausea. I try to get a handle on it before it gets to the watery mouth stage. Then food starts tasting hideous. My bald head starts hot flashing. Joint pain ramps up to unbearable levels. Exhaustion hits hard.

The mental and emotional side effects follow the physical side effects. Depression, despair, hopelessness, and frustration kick in with a vengeance.

There is no managing it. There’s only gritting my teeth and gutting through it. I count down the days to the next cycle. I visualize pier fishing. I feel good in my dreams. Until the pain wakes me up in the night.

One more cycle. Five or six weeks of hell. I’m still lucky.

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