Talking to myself, again

“I’ll never amount to anything.”

“My whole life has been a failure.”

“I’m no good at anything.”

“Screw it.  Might as well drink a beer and wait to die.”

 

How many times have I had that creepy negative refrain playing in the background of my brain?

How many times have I NOT had that shit burbling in the background?

Funny how it starts with childhood and kind of grows, like mold, for years

until one day, I’m coughing and choking on the noxious fumes

I gotta clean this shit out, once and for all, but how?

How?

Knowledge.  Learning something new that will kill that moldy thinking once

and for all.

I can’t tear down the house, but I can start in a corner and kill one thought

at a time.  Kill it forever.  Replace it with a shiny new thought that gives

me comfort instead of grief.

One section at a time.  One goal met at a time.  One new step at a time.

Stop painting over the mold with platitudes.  It just comes back.

Understand that I will not be the best at mold-killing, but I will be the

best at killing mine, and that’s all that matters.

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